Tears. Feelings.

Drama. I always love drama. Yes, lots of tragedies, crying and sad stuffs. And I just don't know why. I don't want to be emotional or a loner or something like that, but I just don't know why I like these kind of things. I watch drama movies, read drama fanfics and listen to sad love songs. I was actually enjoying doing these stuffs but you see, drama in real life is not really that fun. Absolutely not. 

When I was younger, I thought I have a perfect life. Perfect friends, perfect education and was blessed with a happy family. It was like that until I reached my 4th grade in elementary. I recognize some changes, changes that are really not that normal, but not too abnormal though. I'm sorry if that's too complicated. Well, as what I'm saying...I began to see 'not-so-good' changes in my family, life and friends. But it wasn't really a bother. Last school year, I started feeling ostracized by some of my classmates. But I really don't care since I have my own group of friends, who understand me and are concern with me. And I'm very thankful with that.

This school year, I can say that I'm proud of myself. I can say that I've been through a lot. Why? Last month, I experienced real drama. November 19. The problem started, and the dam of tears that I've been preventing from breaking for almost 2 years now, broke. The next day, another problem came up (I cannot really say what the problems are, because YES. I still have my private life that I only keep to myself). The next day, November 21. It was Monday, and I wanted to start my week right but it seems like my wish won't be granted. That morning my parents fought, and my dad threw tantrums. It all happened, infront of me. Well, I'm not really troubled with that because things like this always happened, and I've grown accustomed to such things. I'm mad because through all these years, they still don't recognize this. They fight because of money, they fight because of family problems, they fight because of my future. COME ON?! It's MY future, MY life, MY decision. I know they care for me, but fighting over these kind of things is already unreasonable. I would love to accept their help and guide to know my interest in life, but deciding and controlling my life is out of the topic already. I can't understand why should they fight about that too. Looking back about that now, I can't imagine how pathetic I must have looked that time. But well, let's all live well okay :) Though many suffered during that period of our lives, I can say that experiencing real drama makes us stronger in life.
Eventhough the problem is not completely solved but for the meantime let's enjoy our lives. ^.^ I'm going to make the best out of it, and  I will always heed the values and the lessons learned. I really don't know how to describe what exactly happened in those 5 days.

Sometimes, all I need is just a hug from someone who really cares for me. Actually, I have this one wish and I'm kinda hopeless about it. I just want my parents to hug me, even just for once, hug me tightly and shower me with their warmth; I want them to kiss my cheeks at the same time and have a bonding in a peaceful place, far away from this complicated city. It's not wrong to dream, it's free. Just be prepared and brace yourself if ever you may fall. I really appreciated some of my friends when they hugged me and encouraged me that everything will soon be okay, that I can do this, I will surely do this and overcome this. And most of all I like to thank God for guiding me this whole year, for trusting me that I can handle this problem, and for giving me His love.

In the end, I can't say that it is a 'Problem Solved' but I'm certain that I found true friends, I learned the lessons in life and I became more faithful to God. Gosh, I'm becoming more sensitive and emotional these days...haha!

Life's bittersweet. Let's deal with it. Live. Laugh. Love.
Belated Merry Christmas everyone! God bless! ♥


Labyrinth_101
12.27.11