When...

I'm going to lie if I say I enjoyed this day.

You know that feeling when someone hates you and you feel like your suffocating, and you just can't breathe. That feeling when you know someone doesn't like you and you feel you're heart's breaking until it feels like it's actually hurting literally, then you have nothing to do but just sigh. And that feeling when you really have to cry it out, but then you can't because you feel so useless, worthless and so alone. It hurts so f*cking much.

It hurts when you think no one supports you and you don't decide for your own future, and someone had just removed your right of deciding for yourself. It hurts when they don't understand what you feel, and you feel like breaking down because then you feel so discriminated and lowly as a person. But it hurts more to smile when you feel like you're actually dying. It hurts to think that you did something in hope to help that person, but ended up being a burden. And I just hate it.

You feel like being kicked when you're already so depressed, and being insulted when you're already being down by discouraging comments from some. And they don't care, they're just there like nothing really happened and you're being all smile, because if you let out tears...they'll be telling you that you're over reacting.

It's painful. It's like being directly stabbed by a knife straight to your chest.